went to bostons last nite with some friends.My first time there. they play good music there alot of comeback kid.

Going back home at the end of this month. There isnt really a rush. Its so sad and boring out there. Nothing but drugs for me to play with. 

I miss my sister.

I either feel right at home, or feel nowhere near that. I love this place, and not many people can understand that. Either that, or it was your disguise. (and i miss you, whether or not you care to hear it.) 

Highways and sunsets, is where i find myself. Yet, they lead me nowhere out of here. I've grown tired of that, but still...it's where I am. And i wouldn't change that.

If i wasn't ever here, i'd be no one. I wouldn't be me. I'd just be some girl, not from here. Which is not something i want to be.

So if you love me, you love the prairies. They come hand in hand. I am the prairies, that's what i am. I can sit on a hill and watch fields lingering forever. Living here, has let me see beauty inside of things. And i wouldn't trade that. Even if i am surrounded by wheat, and highways. If you lived here, you'd probably know.

So when someone asks me why i love the prairies, i don't have an answer for you. I just know that i do. And unless you've lived here, you can't understand.

Like one day, driving with two extraordinary people on a highway one a beautiful day. Trains passing (fevers and mirrors), and a warm wind blowing. Just talking. Theres this one girl, who loves it as much as i do. Who could sit for hours, in silence in a field and just take everything in. I love that girl, like i love it.

And that's just it. I want my own apartment now. And my dustin in it, with a small plastic table to either eat on, or for her to sleep on. And that is it.

It's to times where you can drive out a bit, lay ontop of a car and watch a meteor shower. Or see every star imaginable - so bright and so big. It's to watching the sun set, and then watching it rise. It's to sittin in a field on your back staring at the clouds thinking about every possible thing. It's to long drives. It's to long goodbyes. To long adventures. It's to those excrutiatingly hot days and cherishing them, becuase of excrutiatingly cold winters. But it's to loving the snow, becuase it's so serene and it always sparkles no matter how bitter the winter is. It's to simple nights, and not being bored with any second of it. It's to photobooths, and amounts of money spent on them. It's to 35 mm cameras. Music. Close friends. And wheat. It's to routine.  It's simple. And that's just fine for me. (Although i really cannot describe it as well as i'd like to.)

This is pointless, but so are most blogs. It's just random days that remind me of where i live. And it happens often.

Today I am sad. I meet the most greatest people and FUCK it up somehow.

Adam will never talk to me again, and this hurts So much. i never felt pain like this before. I Need Him Not To Mad At Me.

( Lovely Photos )

It's saras birthday today. we are going to party. PARTY HARD!!!! we might go to O'Hanlons. I love that Bar They Always Play Keane. I wish My camera Worked. im just so Lazy to take it to get repaired. even if i did i cant afford to get it out!! job hunting isnt going as good as i hoped.

I wish i was still a little girl. No worrys at all. Wouldn't That be nice.

"I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin"

Tomorrows Taste OF Chaos!! it pains me to say this...but im not going . I Only wanted to see MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!! Gerard Way!!! my friends know how much i LOVE this band. they say things like "oh they'll come back" "when you get your car you could just drive to go and see them next time they come around" Yeah...Right!! this is Saskatchewan NO ONE COMES HERE!! it was even a shock to find out this tour was stopping here. Call me crazy, but Im going to my room to cry now....

See how bucks face dramticaly changes. (dude with the glasses)

So Buck Just finished talking to me and he finally has music up on his myspace!! now i could just go to AVARICETOLACE MYSPACE SITE and listen to their music instead of waiting till their next show. their disk wont be availible till june!! All this waiting is going to drive me nuts!!! they have a show on friday. it should be fun. I GET A FREE STICKER!!

http://www.myspace.com/avaricetolace

( more pictures )
Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: blood brothers

last nite i stayed up until 3 in the morning. i was in one of my artistic moods and my hands craved colages. i made one dedicated to a dear friend who made an impact on my life, thing is he dosent know it. The other was of creepy dolls. Drank Loads Of Coffee!!!!

Today i walked down to the libaray and car drove by and splashed me. so i turned around and went home to change cuz i was all muddy. (i curse the guy that was in the car)

Buck is playing on the 18th.

My thursday C.D went missing. pleeeaaase give it back!!!

thats all

I love you Denise and I still can't believe you're gone. I don't want to believe that you're gone. You can't be. You never will be. I love you so much. I'll miss you forever. And remember you for always. Rest In Peace. I love you.

I hope you're having fun up in the clouds, say hi to John Lennon for me.

</a> 

Black and gray clouds willow in the balance as the sun falls.
Rain plays a heart warming tune, on the pavement.
Emotions stir.

Im going downtown to find Adam and the crew. i heard something about him that i dont what to believe, so im going to ask him for myself. ahaha he never learns! i dont know why he keeps going back into the mall. hes only going to get kicked out. Hes so retarted! but thats why i love him.

Great news GOOD ENOUGH is playing tonight!! sad news it's in a effin bar and i cant get in

Misery Signals.  I need this C.D!

Moshpits......So Pretty.....Sometimes i watch them more than the show.

talked to buck most o the nite. he introduced me to a bunch of great bands. blood brothers breing one of them.

todays valentines day. i should be all happy but im not. i hate this day

AwayFromHere....BROKE UP!!!!!!!!! This Saddens Me. SASK TRADEGY

AvariceToLace playing tonight ..........not going. this also saddens me.

i when back to my old high school and took back my books. it was weird seeing everyone. just staring.

chris came over last nite gave me my ticket to the "Yamaha Last Band Standing Finals" show on saturday. thats the show im promoting. Vote For TTP!!

I heard the most greatest news today from Matt. he said that ALEXISONFIRE is coming back in march!! i just met the guy and hes so awesome :)

if you want to lok at some really grand band pictures go to www.punkoryan.com

AWAYFROMHERE (local band)

A God Among The Other Bands.

TOMBSTONE DIARIES

HOLY FUCK ITS "MEANS"!!!!

I read a couple of articles about him yesterday. It's weird how me and this guys life are similar. Hes just become my personal Hero. Wierd???

"ILL END MY DAYS WITH YOU IN A HAIL OF BULLETS"

i couldn't believe they did that. our city is so cool....(yeah right)

looks like im going to toontown. i have to but tickets to this TasteOfChaos show in march. I must go!! i hope it doesn't sell out.

Avarice to Lace

February, 11 2005 at Roca Jacks
Downtown Location, Regina, SK, s4t 2y3
Cost: $5.00 at the door get this kids all ages!!

http://www.myspace.com/avaricetolace
 

THIS BOY HAS BEEN KNOWN TO LICK SICKER THINGS!

</a> A man (monster/ghoul/geek) and his laboratory.

 

Small, simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die.
I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
I want the pain of payment.
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts.
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts.
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart.
Love is not like anything.
Especially a fucking knife

last nite was pretty brutal. lets just say that if i ever see my moms hippie boyfriend i will kill him!

talked to kristie today. she cheered me up as usual.

i think im gonna watch elephant for the hundredth time. i love that movie. its so beautiuful. when i watched it for the first time i was shaking throughout the whole movie. it so scary!

oh how can i forget. today i talked to adam. when i seen him walking down the street i swear my legs felt so weak i thought i was going to fall. i went up to him and we started talking. i was so happy. i thought he was mad at me for the longest time. but turns out we're ok. i feel so alive agian. i wanted to cry.

<< BUCKY